Chris Brown finally made a statement as a public apology to his fans and to Rihanna as well. Some found it hard to accept his gesture as sincere since he appeared to be reading it instead of speaking from the heart.

He stated that he was advised to not make a statement up to this point when he knew and felt in his heart that as his fans and supporters, we held our breath and prayed that he would come forward immediately.

The incident happened five months ago, so we are being expected to understand that is took this amount of time for Chris to gain some perspective.

I say that by reading the apology, it seemed less heartfelt; speaking spontaneously could have appeared to be from a more genuine place if it was not read. Chris seems to be robotically and desperately apologizing as a result of an or else ultimatum.

It that what we are seeing in his face as he apologizes; or are we seeing a young man still developing his personal values in an industry where “kicking ass”, “being hard”, “not backing down” has become the way contemporaries rank each other.

Does he really mean it? Is he really remorseful and has learned from this incident or is he trying to protect his image to sell more records and tickets to his concerts.

Entertainers and celebrities flaunt their rank amongst themselves and when they perform in public through the content of their lyrics and in their appearance. They are the role models for our young people, who model their style and behavior to be accepted amongst their own peers. They must set a higher standard than just show the negative side of urban life.

Unfortunately there are some young men in the black community stuck in a place where “Swagger” is worn as a badge of honor that is flaunted with sagging jeans and half pulled up pants like they are just getting up off the toilet or getting ready to take a dump.

Today many mistake “Swagger” for something tangible like maturity or sensitivity or the ability to communicate emotionally and honestly with respect.

Platinum record sales do not give you the right to walk around half dressed in public. Being hard does not make you brave when you cannot control our emotions. Striking out at someone does not give you better rank.

Sagging your pants to the point of seeing your full buttocks and exposing your underpants on national television, does not make you a superstar nor does it represent our community.

Slapping a woman around and bruising up her face for any reason is never justified because a man is stronger physically and will always have the advantage. This does not mean that women are justified in being violent either.

Many of our young boys and men get taught to use rebellious behavior and force to get what that want or to make things go their way. When they get to a sensitive place in an emotionally charged situation, they become forceful instead of observant or self constrained.

I am sorry to hear that Chris Brown was exposed to domestic violence as a very young man; it probably damaged and distorted him in ways we will never fully understand. The sad thing is he stopped growing when it happened… he became stuck in that moment of terror and helplessness. Until he embraces this and fully acknowledges that his perceptions of manhood have been distorted and damaged he will not heal and will continue to flaunt “Swagger” as something special.

When a young man is exposed to violence against his mother and feels helpless to protect her, he loses sight of family values or misdirects his anger when he can’t handle his emotions.

My definition of “Swagger” is a presence or characteristic demonstrating strength, status, toughness, a kind of hardness or even skills and talent with an edge.

My own experience with domestic violence changed my whole perspective about being a parent because it was important that my son and my daughters see me as a strong person not as a victim.

It is sad that the people who are not related to Chris Brown can give him advice professionally in how to conduct his personal integrity. Is it always about money with the record producers and promoters?

Chris Brown is a young man that hopefully can still have a long successful career in the music industry. His integrity is under scrutiny by his fans and supporters. I pray that he can grow and heal from this point forward.

It may take some time for everyone to embrace him and welcome him back into the arms of the community.

Are you listed in our business directory? If not you should be. http://africanamericanfamilyconnection.com/business-directory

Black radio is the most significant channel of urban culture and family values in the African American community.

It serves as an important source of news for black families from the black perspective and entertainment for audiences in every ethnic group. Everyone listens to black radio for the drama and buffoonery and to catch up on hot topics.

A rally to “Save Black Radio” is scheduled to take place May 13 in front of Rep. John Conyers (D-MI) office in Detroit.

Representative Conyers is an 80-year-old African American congressman who is the sponsor of the Performance Rights Act.

The Performance Rights was originally introduced in February earlier this year designed to collect royalties on local radio for airplay. Commercial radio will have to pay the same fees as Satellite radio.

In a segment on the Tom Joyner Morning Show with Roland Martin and Cathy Hughes, she said that during a meeting in Conyers’ office with opponents of the measure, the congressman “turned up his CD player so loud that we could not hear anyone talk … It was turned up to teenage volume.”

It is unbelievable that a Senator would stoop to such a tactic as to turn up the volume on CD player in the middle of a meeting to avoid hearing what citizens have to say about legislation that affects so many others.

The following is a excerpt from theUS House of Representatives Committee on the Judiciary  Press Release February 04, 2009 http://judiciary.house.gov/news/090204.html

The legislation would amend an inequity in America’s copyright law that exempts over-the-air broadcasters from paying those who perform the music that we listen to on AM and FM radio. Webcasters, satellite radio providers and cable companies are presently required to pay for music they broadcast.

“All those in the creative chain of musical production – the artists, musicians, and others who enrich us culturally – deserve to be justly compensated for their work,” said Conyers. “We have introduced the Performance Rights Act to ensure fairness so that any service that plays music pays those who create and own the recordings – just as satellite, cable and internet radio stations currently do. Working with the Senate, I hope that Congress may act quickly to pass this important legislation to level the playing field between different technologies and ensure rightful compensation to performers.

What is going on? Why are they trying to destroy the one medium that is really the pulse of the black community?

Radio is not only about the music; it speaks the same language and conveys the message in the way that it can be heard effectively by those that choose to tune in.

When I was a child black radio was a rare jewel in the community and served to bridge the gap in communication where communities were cut off or excluded from mainstream media.

As Cathy Hughes stated, it is the responsibility of the record executives and companies to pay the individuals that sing or perform in any way on a song why should the radio stations pay residuals anyone other than the writers who hold the copyright to the song?

Performance royalties are tracked and paid out by the performance rights organizations like ASCAP, BMI, SESAC, and SoundExchange.

The royalty process begins once a song is registered with one of the three performing rights organizations.

Once a song is registered, it becomes part of that PRO’s (performing rights organization) collection and is available to all of its users. Most of those users have a “blanket license” to use any or all of the PRO’s music, however some users license on a per program basis and only pay for the music they actually use.

The PROs  performing rights organizations deduct money for their operating expenses and the rest goes to the songwriters and publishers.

Every since the writers strike in the television industry people have become greedy and money driven about how much money they are not getting through every available medium.  It is my understanding that when you agree legally to participate in producing music you cross your “i’s” and dot your “t’s” to ensure your compensation.

What happened to fuel this performance tax and why does someone like Conyers have an axe to grind with urban radio? Who has been affected by this that it has become another form of racism to black radio?

While the resolution will be framed in terms of preventing a ‘tax,’ ‘fee,’ or ‘burden’ on local radio stations, in reality, the only payment broadcasters would be required to make would be for the use of someone else’s property.” http://hiphopnews.yuku.com/topic/1015

The latest music of one of my favorite artist and someone knew from my hometown is so awesome I want everyone to be blessed with this music as I have been for most of my life. James Ingram and I grew up in the same neighborhood, in Akron, Ohio and his music is so familiar to me.

James has an extensive collection of music from Revelation Funk of the 1970’s to singing back up with Ray Charles and everyone remembers PYT “Pretty Young Thang” and “Secret Garden” just to mention a few of his talents.

I have listened to his parents sing in church, his brother play the organ in church and stood next to his sister in our high school  choir. Yes the entire family is talented and deeply Spiritual. This latest work brings back memories of that sleepy little industrial town where everyone worked at the rubber factory and went to church.

His latest work reminds me of high school football games, summer picnics at Turkeyfoot Lake and going to church. “Stand in the Light” is reminiscent of Sunday school followed by morning service and a dinner after church already prepared waiting to be reheated.

The testimony of a neighbor or someone “shouting” and being filled with the Spirit that morning in church inspired you to make a new commitment to yourself to be better because it could always be worse and that you could be in someone else’s shoes.

In Don’t Let Go he sings of what his father taught him about lessons learned and enduring life on life’s terms. His family was a strong presence in the church as I remember them.

Life in an industrial town was like living in a village and everyone knew everyone else, not matter what side of town you lived on. Most people went to church and believed tat the trials and tribulations of life will pass if we remember to “keep the faith”, hold on and don’t lean to your own understanding.

Beneath the Snow is very special to me because the snowy days were very special especially when school was closed and we were all outside playing in the snow. There was something special beneath the snow that held the promise of spring.

There were times that seemed like the snow would never leave and it would be cold all the time and we walked to school and came home every day to a warm place to be loved and cared for.

I have always loved “Everything Must Change” from the 70’s done first by and the way he does it is awesome. This song tells the story of life and unfolding. My favorite line “There are not many things you can be sure of, except that rain comes from the clouds, sun lights up the sky and hummingbirds do fly”.

Yah Mo Be There is more of that Ingram family wisdom coming through and confirmed Michael McDonald as an honorary Soul Brother in the Spirit. During that time when this song was released, not many white artists were proclaiming their faith. Big Ups to Michael McDonald on faith.
No Place Like Home is what is I write about because I truly believe that the wisdom of the kitchen table talks we all had with our parents and loved ones and each other did not always happen at the kitchen table.

For All We Know confirms to me that he is still in love with his beautiful wife Debbie, my childhood friend from kindergarten and their six children. Once when we spoke on the phone while he was in town, I could hear the children in the background. I asked him how it felt to have his children with him when he traveled.

He said that he always traveled with his family, all of them because he said it kept him grounded. I feel it and I hear it in his songs, he is still the James I grew up and a man of great faith and Spirituality.

I am so very happy to know this artist personally and listening to this new CD brings back the memories of strength and love that fed us, taught us, protected us and gave us sanctuary.

James Ingram Music Office Web Site http://www.jamesingramsmusic.com/home1.htm

The New Year is just around the corner and be prepared to celebrate in style. We have a lot to celebrate with the significance of our new President being sworn in soon, it is time to party!

If you are having a black tie event, celebrating an anniversary, or maybe you are just having a fun girl’s night in, you want decorations that are classy and work great with your event. With the Platinum, White and Black Decorating kit, your party will look sharp and elegant.

The Platinum, White and Black Decorating Kit includes:

• Package of 6 Shining Platinum (Silver) 12″ Latex Balloons
• Package of 6 Bright White 12″ Latex Balloons
• Package of 6 Pitch Black 12″ Latex Balloons
• Dove Grey Crepe Streamer – 81′
• White Crepe Streamer – 81′
• Black Crepe Streamer – 81′
• White Curling Ribbon – 75′
• Black Curling Ribbon – 75′

With a package like this the design possibilities are endless. Everything from balloon bouquets to confetti can be created with a little creativity and the right tools. There is enough in this kit to make any party or event, come to life.

The colors in this theme are rich and say a lot when you are trying to impress a crowd. There is nothing like a soft grey and platinum to make people feel like they are in the midst of something absolutely divine.

If you are in need of decorations that will elegantly provide décor to your black and white then the Platinum, White and Black Decorating kit needs to be added to your list. With this kit and the perfect dinner setting you will have people wondering if you hired a professional decorator.

Hooray! Gas prices are down so visiting family for the holidays is a possibility that is affordable. If you are planning a trip or family is coming to visit, here are some tips about travel that may assist you.

Renting a car is an option but can be a dilemma if you do not do your research. Call and ask questions, or be prepared for a big disappointment when your are all packed and ready to leave.

1. Some car rental companies will allow you to use a debit card. Because debit cards are attached to your bank account, using a debit card means having a cash deposit above the cost of the rental on hold while you are using the rental. The amount can be up to $500 or more. Contact the car rental companies to discuss their requirements.
2.Check with your auto insurance company that you have for your own car for car rental coverage.

3.Check with your credit card company for car rental coverage.

4.Insurance benefits offered by credit card companies may be different if the card is issued from the credit card company or by the bank. For example a platinum card may offer more insurance coverage than a gold card.

5.Credit cards usually cover only damage to or loss of the rented vehicle, not for other cars, personal belongings or the property of others. There may be no personal liability coverage for bodily injury or death claims. Some credit card companies will provide coverage for towing, but many may not provide for diminished value or administrative fees.

6.To know exactly what type of insurance you have, call the toll-free number on the back of the card you will be using to rent the car. If you are depending on a credit card for insurance protection, ask the credit card company or bank to send you their coverage information in writing. In most cases, credit card benefits are secondary to either your personal insurance protection or the insurance offered by the rental car company.

7.Loss Damage Waiver (LDW) Also referred to as a collision damage waiver, relieve or “waive” renters of financial responsibility if their rental car is damaged or stolen. In most cases, waivers also provide coverage for “loss of use,” in the event the rental car company charges the renter for the time a damaged car can not be used because it is being fixed. It may also cover towing and administrative fees.

8.Waivers may become void if the accident was caused by speeding, driving on unpaved roads or driving while intoxicated. If you already have comprehensive and collision coverage on your own car, check with your personal auto insurer to make sure you are not duplicating coverage you already have. This coverage generally costs between $9 and $19 a day.

9.Liability Insurance If you have adequate amounts of liability protection on your own car, you may not need additional liability protection for a rental. This is supplemental insurance and it will cost between $7 and $14 a day.

10.Check to see if you have an umbrella liability policy sitting on top of your auto and homeowners or renters liability policy to provide extra protection including accidents while driving your own car or one that you rent.

11.If you use rentals frequently you can also consider purchasing a non-owner liability policy. This not only provides liability protection when you rent a car, but also when you borrow someone else’s car.

12.Personal Accident Insurance
Personal Accident Insurance offers coverage to you and your passengers for medical and ambulance bills for injuries caused in a car crash. If you have adequate health insurance or are covered by personal injury protection under your own car insurance, you may not need this additional insurance. It usually costs about $1 to $5 a day.

13.Personal Effects Coverage
Personal Effects Coverage provides insurance protection for the theft of items in your car. If you have a homeowners or renters insurance policy that includes off-premises theft coverage, you are generally covered for theft of your belongings away from home, minus the deductible. If you purchase this coverage through the rental car company, it generally costs between $1 and $4 a day.

14.States have minimum age requirements for renting a car and most major rental car companies refuse to rent a car to someone who is under 21 and in some cases under 25. There can be and additional per day cost for drivers under age 25.

15.Most rental car companies now investigate your credit history so check with the rental car company before picking up the car. You could be all packed and ready to go and be refused a rental because of a negative credit history.

Now that you know what to do to secure a rental, go through your travel preparation check list and have a safe trip.

When I was fourteen, I traveled to North Carolina with my mother to her home town in Greensboro and experienced a kind of racism that gave me a serious wake up call about discrimination. I was angry, confused and hurt that we could have been arrested just for shopping like normal people and the experience affects me still today. This was in 1968, the same year that Martin Luther King Jr, was murdered, and I felt strong in my Blackness due to the achievements of the Civil Rights movement taking place up to and during this time. In this Five and Dime discount store, as I browsed and touched things I was followed by a white clerk and warned by my mother to not put the hat I was looking at on my head.

Defiant, fourteen and  coming from Ohio where white people were a little more subtle about their racist attitudes, I felt the injustice of that moment and we left the store before I caused us to get arrested. Outside the store I decided to get a drink of water from the public fountain until I noticed the fountains were separately marked “Whites” and “coloreds”. The white fountain was chilled with electricity but the Colored fountain was a small porcelain fountain with warm water.  This was traumatic to my young revolutionary Spirit, which had been slowly getting stronger and developing as I learned more about myself in a climate of social injustice.  The  examples of self pride and strength were the people in my family and the community around me, both the men and women who raised me taught me to be proud of who I am as an African American.

African American women in my formative years were portrayed in low profile parts that did not stand out. Influenced by the traditionalist of the 50’s the images we saw on television and in the movies consisted of Black women as a vixen, a housekeeper, a maid, or mammy and as slaves or bare-breasted indigenous women in Tarzan movies.

Fortunately the women in my life were strong, educated and challenged those stereotypes for a little black girl to seek out other definitions of my womanhood. Early television and film images of women of color were censored representations of talented actors that were held back due to racism. Artists like Nina Mae McKinney, Fredi Washington, Dorothy Dandridge and Lena Horne broke through the barriers of the industry to make it possible for us to witness the talent of today.

Consistently, Black women showed up in roles as caretakers and servants of their white counterparts because the white actors could not be upstaged. Many blacks had to reject their own blackness and compromise the creative integrity of their skills as actresses because the images they were allowed to portray was controlled by the studios bosses who in that era were white.

Nina Mae McKinney, (b.1912 – d.1967) was the first Black movie star and actress in Hollywood, but we know nothing about her. All of the attention has been given to the choices of the industry as the front runners.

Fredi Washington, (b.1903-d.1994) a very fair-skinned woman with light eyes, was disliked by both blacks and whites even though she was actually a black woman. Because she didn’t look black enough, Hollywood directors often encouraged her to pass for white because they could make her a bigger star. The role that was most significant was the movie “Imitation of Life” in which she played a black woman passing for white.

Dorothy Dandridge, ( b.1924 – d.1965) appeared in movies from 1930 to the end of 1962 was born during the Depression Era in America, was the first Black actress ever nominated for and an Academy Award for Carmen Jones in 1954.

Although we did not have cable during that time, movies and television were a prominent channel of entertainment and a powerful method of influence on the belief system of Black people. Representing your race during the 1950’s and 1960’s was extremely significant to black actors due to how racism was reflected and reinforced on television and on the big screen.

The November issue of Ebony Magazine features the stars of the movie coming out this month called “The Secret Life Of Bees” in an article by Lynn Norment discussing how the actresses connected the past events of the Civil Rights struggle with American history today. This is the reason this magazine is about connection, because it is through connection that we learn to broaden our frame of understanding about life. Connection to the accomplishments of our predecessors is the key to making sense of the historic events taking place today. It is important that we are aware of our history and the role of the individuals whose determination and tenacity opened the door for us in television and film to express ourselves in the many ways we do today.

During the shooting of the movie, the director Gina Prince-Blythwood chose to immerse two two of the actresses in a real life situation of racism to sensitize them about the climate of the times. The story takes place in 1964 during a time of openly demonstrated racial and social hatred. Exposing the actors to this experience allowed them to feel actual discrimination. No one can describe it to you and give an accurate account of how it deeply it hurts. I felt completely stripped as a part of me wanted to fight and another part of me wanted to cry out loud when I was fourteen in that North Carolina store 40 years ago. Today the same attitudes show up every day in the media. There is so much social injustice today, we still have a lot of work to do yet I am grateful for movies like this to show us the today the connection to the past and the present.

I am also grateful to the women of color who were brave enough to not give up or give in being told they were not good enough or talented enough to represent their race. The grace and determination they demonstrated is the strength that fuels and motivates us today. Gives Thanks for the ancestors on whose shoulders we stand, Ashe’, Ashe’, Ashe’.