Does Chris Brown have Swagger like Us?

Chris Brown finally made a statement as a public apology to his fans and to Rihanna as well. Some found it hard to accept his gesture as sincere since he appeared to be reading it instead of speaking from the heart.

He stated that he was advised to not make a statement up to this point when he knew and felt in his heart that as his fans and supporters, we held our breath and prayed that he would come forward immediately.

The incident happened five months ago, so we are being expected to understand that is took this amount of time for Chris to gain some perspective.

I say that by reading the apology, it seemed less heartfelt; speaking spontaneously could have appeared to be from a more genuine place if it was not read. Chris seems to be robotically and desperately apologizing as a result of an or else ultimatum.

It that what we are seeing in his face as he apologizes; or are we seeing a young man still developing his personal values in an industry where “kicking ass”, “being hard”, “not backing down” has become the way contemporaries rank each other.

Does he really mean it? Is he really remorseful and has learned from this incident or is he trying to protect his image to sell more records and tickets to his concerts.

Entertainers and celebrities flaunt their rank amongst themselves and when they perform in public through the content of their lyrics and in their appearance. They are the role models for our young people, who model their style and behavior to be accepted amongst their own peers. They must set a higher standard than just show the negative side of urban life.

Unfortunately there are some young men in the black community stuck in a place where “Swagger” is worn as a badge of honor that is flaunted with sagging jeans and half pulled up pants like they are just getting up off the toilet or getting ready to take a dump.

Today many mistake “Swagger” for something tangible like maturity or sensitivity or the ability to communicate emotionally and honestly with respect.

Platinum record sales do not give you the right to walk around half dressed in public. Being hard does not make you brave when you cannot control our emotions. Striking out at someone does not give you better rank.

Sagging your pants to the point of seeing your full buttocks and exposing your underpants on national television, does not make you a superstar nor does it represent our community.

Slapping a woman around and bruising up her face for any reason is never justified because a man is stronger physically and will always have the advantage. This does not mean that women are justified in being violent either.

Many of our young boys and men get taught to use rebellious behavior and force to get what that want or to make things go their way. When they get to a sensitive place in an emotionally charged situation, they become forceful instead of observant or self constrained.

I am sorry to hear that Chris Brown was exposed to domestic violence as a very young man; it probably damaged and distorted him in ways we will never fully understand. The sad thing is he stopped growing when it happened… he became stuck in that moment of terror and helplessness. Until he embraces this and fully acknowledges that his perceptions of manhood have been distorted and damaged he will not heal and will continue to flaunt “Swagger” as something special.

When a young man is exposed to violence against his mother and feels helpless to protect her, he loses sight of family values or misdirects his anger when he can’t handle his emotions.

My definition of “Swagger” is a presence or characteristic demonstrating strength, status, toughness, a kind of hardness or even skills and talent with an edge.

My own experience with domestic violence changed my whole perspective about being a parent because it was important that my son and my daughters see me as a strong person not as a victim.

It is sad that the people who are not related to Chris Brown can give him advice professionally in how to conduct his personal integrity. Is it always about money with the record producers and promoters?

Chris Brown is a young man that hopefully can still have a long successful career in the music industry. His integrity is under scrutiny by his fans and supporters. I pray that he can grow and heal from this point forward.

It may take some time for everyone to embrace him and welcome him back into the arms of the community.

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