What is Your Family Code of Conduct? Dont get caught in your own trap!

Life is full of the traps we set for ourselves

My Grand Daughter sets traps for me! These colorful cards, puzzle pieces, coasters, toys, and shapes with pictures of the basic meanings and definitions of life are laid out like bread crumbs all through the house leading in out of the kitchen and living areas or up the stairs leading to my room.

Due the type of  family values that have been instilled in me, my first instinct of course is to pick these items up and admonish her for leaving her things all over the floor. I resist giving in to my instincts  to clean and organize every minute of my life because to me that represents control of my environment. I choose to create a new connection with her every chance I get!

Giving in to my compulsory obsession with cleanliness and order is less important than the opportunity to reinforce family values of acknowledgment of the teaching moment she offers me.

It means something to her for me to acknowledge her creativity.  When I allow myself to get caught in the trap its means success for her that the trap has worked.  So to say “hey, what are these cards and puzzle pieces and toys doing all over the floor?”

This statement gives this five year old such a sense of satisfaction that I noticed her and something she did to get my attention because I am usually so busy doing something important. To get any reaction to her traps makes her chuckle and smile to herself like it’s a private joke that only she understands.

We are creating memories and teachable moments between us! We are reinforcing our family values.

I love it! It keeps me grounded in reality and my family values so I cannot get too caught up in the day to day tendency to take life too seriously. To be open and aware of every moment in its unique unfolding gift is a thrilling expectation of something new to behold in amazement of just being alive.

Traps! Life is of course full of traps, the ones we set unwittingly for ourselves when we set aside our family values to achieve our goals and survive in the midst of what we are constantly being told is a bad time financially for everyone.

It is true that there is financial struggle and it could be that the Universe is telling us that this is time to smell the roses and reset the focus of what we value the most in life.  I want my grand daughter to have great memories of her time with me, not how hard it was.

Be patient with the process of your life, we tend to be in a hurry to get to the end of the day before we really let the day begin. I resist knowing the outcome all the time because that is fear based behavior. Fear of the outcome! Worrying is not operating in Faith.

I trust my Faith in God, The Higher Power, the Most High, Allah, Jehovah, Krishna, Buddah, The Force, The Source the Breath of Life!

To operate in faith and be conscious of the sweetness and simplicity of my life is the best gift I can give to myself everyday. In this process, I am Peaceful, loving, interested, aware, emotional, feminine, flexible, teachable always smiling from the inside.

Traps set on the floor could annoy me as too many children’s things creating clutter and messiness or remind me of my values.

Family values are the most important part of my relationship with my family members because it  is part of our family code of conduct.

Every family has its own code of conduct and way of being together. What works for one family may or may not work for another.

A few examples in my family
1. We hug and kiss hello and good bye almost every time we see each other, sounds extreme to you, it’s normal for us.
2. We never take anything from each other without permission, never assume that it’s okay, they won’t mind. Some families have issues around this respect of boundaries.
3. We actually eat together at the table with no television just music and cook meals together. Most families today eat in front of the television and they don’t cook together, the responsibility falls on mom most of the time in most families.
4. We don’t talk negatively about people we are connected to. We admonish each other about being critical or negative.
5. We do not fight we talk until there is a solution. My children were not permitted to hit and hurt each other when they were young, disagreements were resolved through problem solving.

Sounds simple, yet it has its own complexity in the process.

Having a sense of simplicity today is important due to the amount of stress and anxiety everyone is feeling about the economy.

If you are watching too much news or listening to too many messages about how bad things are then you are setting yourself up for a trip to the land of cynicism and uncertainty.

That is not a nice place to visit because once you get there it is difficult to find your way out, which leads to depression.

We as mothers must refrain from being too obsessed with controlling every aspect of every person and every part and parcel of our lives. This takes away from actually living and being present in our lives for the simplicity of seeing how happy it makes a five year old to set a trap and see Gram actually caught in it.

It does not hurt to play along and be focused on the joy of the moment instead of correcting it and aligning it with what works in you life to make feel safe and in control.

If you get what I am saying, then share your family values. What works for you? How do you appreciate your living and be healthy while you are doing it?

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